


Couple Swap(Be More Chill AU)

by GalaxyGlow103



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Attempted Sexual Assault, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Mutual Pining, Partial Mind Control, Self-Harm, Sleep Deprivation, Transphobia, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26308648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyGlow103/pseuds/GalaxyGlow103
Summary: Michael Heere has a decently bad life. Awful father, awful experience at school, and awful social skills. All he has going for him are his best friend, Jeremy Mell, and his mom. That is until he finds out about this thing called a SQUIP. A computer that could solve his problems, and could get him with his crush, nothing could go wrong!...Right?
Relationships: Brooke Lohst/Chloe Valentine, Christine Canigula/Jenna Rolan, Jake Dillinger/Rich Goranski, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell, Michael Mell/Chloe Valentine, Rich Goranski/Jenna Rolan
Comments: 15
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys, I deleted the original version of this fic so I could post this version of it. Now it's not done yet, but I have most of the chapters finished. I hope you guys love my boys as much as I do, fair warning this fic is kinda graphic(not bloody graphic but like... there is a lot of manipulation and abuse and stuff) so please read the fic's tags before you consider reading any of it. I've spend about 2 years on this AU with my partner/zucc and we both really love how it is now, and again I really hope y'all will too.

Michael woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring at top volume. He tried to shut it off with one hand, but ended up pushing it off of the side table. He ignored it, as he covered back up in his blankets and tried to go back to sleep.

"Michael? Sweetie, you gotta get up. You got school today." His mom knocked on the door gently, and Michael groaned under his breath."

"Nt'wanna." He mumbled, turning his back to the light.

"If you want Jeremy to come over during the weekend, you gotta go to school, Michael." Michael ignored the red in his face as he sat up.

"F-Fine. But o-only for Jeremy."

"Okay, I'll be downstairs making breakfast." He heard her footsteps as she walked down the hallway. He pushed his blankets up and sighed slightly. Time for another day of hell, he thought, at least...hell until lunch.

He got ready fairly quickly, having showered the night before, as always, and not needing to do that again. He didn't bother with his hair, and he grabbed the same red cardigan and white converse as always, accompanied by a striped shirt and blue jeans. 

He walked downstairs, blowing at his bangs slightly. Maybe he should have dealt with them.

Either way, he was already sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of warm coffee set up for him, as well as a plate of miniature pancakes. 

"Th-Thanks for breakfast, Mama." He grabbed the pancake with his fingers and dipped it in the syrup, watching as the slow flowing liquid moved from the pancake to the bowl.

"Of course, sweetie. Anything to help you through a Friday. I'm assuming you have tests?"

"E-Every period." Michael mumbled, not at _all_ happy about that. "W-Well, except la-last period." 

"Well, I hope they go well for you."

"Thanks M-Mama." Michael muttered, before hearing heavy footsteps, and realizing his dad was up. _Great_.

"Don't mumble, Michael." Michael felt a hand on his back and he was forced to sit up straight.

"Y-Yes Papa." Michael stammered out softly.

"What was that? I can't hear you 'cause you speak soft like a girl."

"I said yes, Papa." Michael raised his voice slightly. He hated these types of "activities". His dad wanted him to be masculine, but Michael didn't _want_ to be masculine. He just wanted to be himself… Even if he wasn't comfortable with himself.

"Better. Now hurry up and get in the car, or I'm gonna leave you here." Michael nodded, biting his lip softly. 

"Oh, Michael, tell Jeremy I got him more churros." Maganda piped up, before Michael got to the door.

"I-I will, Mama." Michael turned slightly red at the mention of Jeremy, granted he was _always_ red.

"Why do you let that tranny come over here, Maganda?" Michael's dad asked, and Michael tried so hard _not_ to yell at him. Jeremy wasn't… _that_ . Jeremy was _Jeremy_. Yes, he was trans, but that didn't change how Michael thought about him… Why did his dad care so much?

"Because _he's_ Michael's friend. Why else?"

"Whatever." Michael's dad grumbled, and Michael followed him out the door, a mix of sadness and fear in his eyes.

***

Well, school had _sucked_ , so far, at least. Jake Goranski, Michael's personal tomenter of two years, vandalized his backpack, which embarrassed him in front of Jenna Canigula, which _was_ his crush… so that sucked. He also got laughed at by Brooke Valentine and Chloe Lohst… mostly Brooke though.

Either way, Michael was _glad_ lunch had finally come. Three tests in one day and he _needed_ a break. 

He took his seat in the corner of the room, not looking up until a flash of blue caught his eye from across the cafeteria. Jeremy'd just got back from 7-11.

He saw Michael from across the room and began practically _bouncing_ over.

"Hey Micha." Jeremy plopped down next to him, and Michael smiled softly, but Jeremy knew something was wrong. "You okay? You look upset?"

"I have a q-question?" Michael grabbed his backpack and sat it on the table. "W-What is a BOYF?" 

"Hold up." Jeremy placed his bag next to Michael's.

"Riends Boyf? W-What does that…" Jeremy rearranged the two bags and Michael sighed violently. "Da-Dammit Jake, I'm not gay!" He held his head in his hands, but Jeremy removed them softly. "N't look at m-me r'now." 

"Okay just… Here." Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael softly, checking for any cues that he was coming on too strong. "That helpin'?"

"Mm… you always h-help me, 'Remy." Michael mumbled, and Jeremy turned red when Michael moved closer, nuzzling into him. 

"Glad to see I helped you…" Jeremy began carding a hand through Michael's hair, before glancing up and seeing Jenna across the room. She was signing something. "Hey Micha, look." He nudged Michael gently, and the slightly younger male looked where Jeremy pointed. "Jenna's signin' up for the play. You should sign up too, get to know her."

"I...I can't t-talk to he-her _alone_." Michael began scratching his hands and Jeremy grabbed one of them, running his thumb across it. 

"Sure you can. I can't be there but I'll text you motivation all rehearsal. Although you probably won't see it because, well, it's a _rehearsal_."

"You...Y-You _will_?" Michael asked, and Jeremy nodded. "O-Okay...I-I got this…" Michael stood up and began walking over to the sign up sheet, looking back at Jeremy for confidence. Jeremy gave him a very giddy thumbs up, and Michael continued walking.

When he got to the sign-up sheet, he grabbed the pen with shaky hands, writing his name under Jenna's… he hadn't even realized he was being watched by _everybody._

"Gay!!!" That was Jake's voice above all the others, and Michael froze in place. He began clawing into his palms with his fingers, and tears began streaming down his cheeks.

As the cafeteria emptied, Jeremy could tell Michael was beginning to freak out. He grabbed his bag and walked over to Michael, gently placing a hand on his back.

"Micha?" He spoke softly, as not to alarm Michael.

"D-Don't hurt me!" Michael panicked, his back straightening up at the touch. Jeremy quickly pulled his hand away, and approached Michael with a hug from the back.

"It's okay, Micha… M' not gonna hurt you." Jeremy gently rested his head on Michael's shoulder, and Michael lost slight tension. "It's just me… it's just 'Remy… okay?"

"O-Okay…" Michael's breathing was uneasy, and Jeremy realized they'd need to get somewhere private before last lunch came into the cafeteria.

"Micha, I'm gonna take you to the restroom to calm down, okay?" Michael nodded, and Jeremy released Michael from his hug, and led him to the nearest boys' bathroom. He led him into one of the stalls and locked the door. "Okay, Micha, I need you to look at me and follow my breaths, can ya do that?"

"Mhm." Michael whimpered, watching as Jeremy took in a breath, and repeating after him. When Jeremy released, he released too. They repeated this process multiple times, until Michael seemed steadier.

"Better?"

"Y-Yeah… Yeah… 'm better, 'Remy." Michael laid his head on Jeremy's chest, clutching a part of the smaller male's hoodie in his hand. " W-Why does Jake think that I'm… _that_?"

"Dunno, Micha, maybe it's because you're so cute, guys can't resist." Jeremy teased, and Michael's face turned blood red.

"Oh my G-God, 'R-Remy. That's the g-gayest thing I think y-you've ever said." Michael couldn't help but smile at Jeremy's dumb joke, and Jeremy smiled back.

"You're right, too much." Jeremy chuckled lightly, beginning to softly card a hand through Michael's hair. "How long d'you think we're gonna stay in here?" 

"D-Dunno… but I don't r-really care…" Michael mumbled through a smile, and Jeremy couldn't help but blush at how _adorable_ he was. 

_"No, Jeremy, that's weird. He doesn't like you that way."_ Jeremy thought, but it didn't stop him from wanting it. 

"Am I still comin' over this weekend, Micha?" 

"Course, 'Remy…" Michael's voice was as soft as it could be at this point, and Jeremy loved the sound of it. Michael sounded so peaceful, so relaxed, which wasn't something he actually _was_ … it was a nice change, and Jeremy welcomed it.

The late bell ringing drew them both out of their relaxed trance, but they didn't move.

"You wanna stay here?" Jeremy asked, and Michael nodded.

"Too m-many tests today… Just w-wanna relax…" 

"Okay… but don't forget you got rehearsal tonight."

"O-Oh… y-yay."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael goes to play rehearsal and has an awkward conversation in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 time babey, this has more characters than last time, one of my favorites to write is in this chapter.

Michael sighed as he and Jeremy looked at the auditorium door.

"Well, here we are. You ready?" Jeremy asked, and Michael shook his head.

"I-I can't do this, 'Remy… I c-can't." Michael whined, and Jeremy placed one hand on his shoulder, the other he used to cup Michael's cheek.

"Hey. You got this, Micha. You can do this. I promise, it'll be fine."

"I-It will?" Michael asked, and Jeremy nodded reassuringly. 

"Actually," Jeremy removed his hoodie and gave it to Michael,"here. For good luck."

"I… t-thanks 'R-Remy…" Michael took off his cardigan and placed the hoodie on. The scent of old sodas filled his senses and helped relax him. "I a-already feel b-better." 

"Good. I'll be in my car waiting." Jeremy placed his headphones on, pulling the cord out of his pants pocket and connecting his headphones to his phone, and he bopped away. 

_ "God I lo- no… No. I like Jenna. I like Jenna "  _ Michael thought, correcting his thoughts as he entered the auditorium. 

"Hello?" He asked, squeezing the inside of the oversized hoodie as if it was a stress ball. "I-Is this where I come for p-play rehearsal?" 

"Oh!! Hiiii!" He saw Jenna pop out from behind the curtain, running down the stairs to the stage and bouncing over. "I didn't think anybody was coming. I'm Jenna, head of the theater club, also the only member of theater club, you wanna join? We have an instagram and a discord server." Jenna asked, and Michael's head was tryna wrap around the abundance of questions she asked.

"I-I'm Michael, s-sure I'll join? G-Gimme your info on a s-sheet of paper or some-something." 

"Okay Michael, I can do tha- wait, do I know you?" 

"We uh… s-spoke earlier. Y-You told me about my uh… v-vandalized bag."

"Oh, that's right! I can't believe I forgot about that. What is a BOYF?"

"M-Me, apparently." Michael mumbled, and Jenna looked at him in confusion. "I-It's nothing."

"Alright, so do you wanna help me set up?"

"S-Sure. What do I n-need to do?" Michael asked, following Jenna to the stage. It was bigger than he realized. 

"Just, here's a list of props I need. They're in those boxes, but unorganized. We need to put them on that cart." Jenna pointed to a two shelved cart, and Michael nodded in understanding. "Here's half the list. I'll take the first half. Just mark off the item when you find it, okay?" 

"G-Got it." Michael put his backpack down in one of the seats, laying his cardigan on top. He looked down at the list he was given, and the first thing that caught his eye was the need for a beaker. "H-Hey what uh… Play are we putting o-o-on that needs a beaker?" He asked in confusion.

"I don't really know. Mr. Reyes just gave me the list and told me to set up while he gets here. He's still at his part time job at Pinkberry." She explained, and Michael finally got into the boxes, looking through each of the props and making a pile of the ones to put on the tray. "I'm hoping it'll be Shakespeare's A Midsummer's Night Dream. I've waited for ages to put it on." 

"I-I've uh… n-never heard of th-that. I only k-know the big ones, like Romeo and Juliet, Ma-"

"Don't say that!!" Jenna scrambled over to cover Michael's mouth, and he cocked his head. "Don't say the M word. It's bad luck. You say it  _ once _ , and the play will go  _ down _ ."

"O-Oh, okay. I w-won' say that then. But… y-yeah, I only know the big p-plays." Michael mumbled, beginning to carry the pile of props to the cart. 

"Thank you. I want this play to go well and if anybody says  _ that _ , then it'll be a disaster and we'll lose all our funding to the frisbee golf team." Michael could see distress in Jenna's movement alone, from her exaggerated stomps to the sound of her arms aggressively slapping against her sides. "Anyways. I don't blame you for not knowing anymore plays, only big fans of theater know them."

"T-That makes sense. I-It's kinda the uh… Same w-w-with video games, actually." Michael was mentally telling himself to shut up at this point, there wasn't any way she would care and she really  _ shouldn't  _ care. She's a  _ thespian _ , he's a  _ gamer _ . "C-Cause uh, me and R-Remy have-"

"Wait. Who's Remy?" Jenna asked curiously, and Michael felt a small tinge of…  _ something _ at hearing the nickname come from somebody else.

"O-Oh it's my friend Jeremy. B-But we have some p-pretty rare N-Nintendo games that a l-lot of people pr-probably wouldn't even k-know existed." 

"Huh. Neat." Jenna didn't say anything after that and Michael mentally sighed.

_ "Way to go, Heere. Now she thinks you're weird."  _ He thought, wishing he'd shut his mouth  _ so  _ much sooner.

"You uh, think maybe you could teach me how to play video games? I've never really played one before, but my cousin's girlfriend says they're really fun." Jenna asked, and Michael was actually _ shocked _ .

"I uh… S-Sure, but 'm not as good a-as Jeremy. H-He's player one after a-all." Michael was surprised he'd gotten this far.

"Player o- oh! Are you two like… Dating? Just asking, if you are then I'm totally fine with that." Michael  _ wished  _ he could say- no. No he didn't… He  _ liked  _ Jenna.

"O-Oh uh no we're j-just r-really good f-friends." Michael stammered out quickly. "E-Everyone thi-thinks we're dating th-though." He hoped she believed him.

"Oh, okay! I just didn't know if that was a couple thing or not. It sounds like it would be. That'd be really cute if both people were gamers." 

"O-Oh well we uh… We d-d-do it because Jeremy u-usually plays as Mario o-or S-Sonic, depending on w-what franchise it i-is. I a-always take Luigi or T-Tails. W-We do it l-like that be-because he b-buys the systems. I b-buy games." He explained, in the most awkward way _ imaginable _ .

"Okay, that makes sense." A small silence overtook them, the only sound that didn't stop was the sound of props being placed on the cart. "So… you're pretty dedicated to this, huh?"

"W-What… oh w-wait yeah. Yeah I am… I mean b-both of us are. I g-got Jeremy i-into it, and he didn't h-have enough money to b-buy any… plus h-his mom didn't want him p-playing them. B-But he wanted to, so I would s-sneak my Gameboy to s-school for him." Michael had begun to ramble at this point, but Jenna was listening extensively.

"Aw, that's so sweet. So how long have you two been friends? Because it seems like you've known each other for a while."

"W-We met in kinder-" The two were taken out of their conversation from the sound of a door slamming. "G-Garten."

"And there's the popular kids." Jenna sighed, getting off stage and sitting in one of the theater chairs. Michael sat next to her, in between her and his backpack. "Now we wait for Mr. Reyes to show up… or for play rehearsal to e-" Her phone buzzed. "Okay he isn't gonna make it." 

"He t-texted you?"

"Remind. Lotsa teachers use it but no student bothers to get it. But he said to hand out the scripts. Think you can help me with that?"

"O-Oh uh… Sure." It didn't take long for Jenna to find the scripts, and passing them out took even less time, especially since the work was split between the two of them. When they finished, Jenna quickly got on stage, stomping loudly to get the attention of her peers.

"Hello everyone! Please take a seat so we can settle in, thank you." She took a breath, jumping off the stage with a small "oof". "Now I'm sure none of you know who I am, so I'm going to introduce myself. I'm Jennifer Canigula, but you may call me Jenna,  _ please _ , call me Jenna, and I'm going to be just assigning roles, since Mr. Reyes is late." Michael watched as Jenna began naming out roles, giving herself the role of Puck, and calling out Michael as Lycander. 

The entire time she was doing this, he noticed Rich Dillinger watching her, his cheeks tinted red. Did Rich…  _ like _ Jenna? Michael felt himself begin to burn at the thought. That poor girl deserved  _ much  _ better than a playboy like Rich. 

He shook it off, silently waiting for Jenna to pass out the rest of the roles. It didn't take long, and he was starting to get a little tired.

_ "What time is it?" _ He asked himself, checking the time and realizing it felt like he'd been there longer than he had been in reality. 

"Okay, I want you guys practicing your lines. We'll be doing a simple reading on Monday, we'll start in depth rehearsals after that. Got it?" Jenna received mixed remarks, sighing sadly. "You're dismissed now. Monday's rehearsal will be longer." She began packing up, putting on her backpack before Rich walked up to her. 

Michael had to see this.

"Hey uh, weren't you in the play last year?" Rich asked, and Jenna turned to look at him curiously.

"You mean Romeo and Juliet?" Jenna mumbled, kinda bummed that they didn't do anything.

"Yeah! You were the girl that died at the ending!!" 

"That's Juliet."

"Yeah! I uh… That was really depressing…" He stopped. Michael kept watching, was Rich  _ flirting  _ with her? She was gonna get her heart broken. "But you were like,  _ really  _ good."

"Oh! Thank you." Jenna's face flushed pink, and Michael wanted to warn her  _ away  _ from Rich. Badly.

"And I just wanted to tell you that I am  _ very  _ glad you weren't dead. Because you seem so different from everybody I've known and I really wanna get to know you."

"Really? That's… Really sweet of you." Jenna brushed part of her hair behind her ear. 

"Me and some of the cast members were gonna hang at the mall this weekend. If you wanna come, you can. We're goin' on Sunday." 

"Oh, okay! That sounds fun!" She began to follow behind Rich as she left the auditorium, shutting the lights off. She totally forgot Michael was there…

He walked out, hearing the main theme of  _ Sonic the Hedgehog _ coming from his phone. Jeremy was calling, and had already spammed him with motivation. He picked up the call within only a few seconds.

"Hey Micha, you done with rehearsal?"

"Mmhm. I-I'll be outside in a few mi-minutes. I wanna clean off my ba-backpack." Michael began walking to the nearest bathroom. He  _ had  _ to get the " _ BOYF _ " off.

"A'ight. I'll be headin' in there to get my hoodie back. It's kinda chilly out here and I don't wanna freeze. Just text me when I can come in the bathroom, okay?"

"O-Okay 'Remy." Michael entered the bathroom and ran over to the sink. He removed as much as he could from his bag before placing the front under lightly running water and scrubbing aggressively for about five minutes. "J-Just come  _ off  _ already." He whined, freezing when he heard the door open.

He thought it may have been Jeremy, but when he turned around, dread filled his entire body. It was Jake.

"What did I tell you about washing that off?" Jake crossed his arms, waiting for Michael to answer.

"I-I was ju-just tryna get off a stain. Y-Yeah." Michael stammered out, placing the bag on the floor, refilling it. "I-I got it off so I-I think I'm gonna go…" Michael began walking off but Jake grabbed the hood of Jeremy's hoodie and pulled him back.

"Oh no ya don't. I got somethin' for you, Heere."

"I-Is it a swirly?" Michael whimpered, and Jake laughed.

"Ha!! Do you _ want  _ it to be a swirly?"

"N-No!"

"Okay. Anyways, I noticed your pathetic little ass starin' at Jenna all rehearsal."

"I-I uh…"

"And I'm assumin' you like her, right?" Jake smirked, and Michael bit his lip. "Well?" He nodded slightly. "So it  _ was _ right."

"I-It?" Michael asked softly, and Jake pulled something from out of his pants pocket. It was a bag, and inside, an almost  _ glowing  _ pill. "I-Is that drugs?" 

"Nah, it's  _ better _ ." Michael went to grab the bag, mostly out of curiosity, but Jake yanked it away. "Nope. You gotta lemme explain first."

"O-Okay."

"This little thing right here is called a  _ SQUIP _ . It's a super computer in a pill, and it basically guides you through your shitty life. It helped me go from a freshmen nobody to what I am now." Jake spoke victoriously, flexing his arm as he did so. 

"I… I didn't think you  _ went  _ here freshman y-year."

"Well, y'all just ain't real observant, are ya?" Michael stared in shock at the thick southern accent. Where did  _ that  _ come from? "But now? Well I'm not just some new kid who moved here from Texas anymore. I'm popular, I'm cool, I'm the  _ shit _ , and you can be that too. You just gotta get me 600 bucks."

"600 d-dollars? For a p-pill!?"

"Shhhh, I don't need anybody hearin' 'bout this." Jake quickly covered Michael's mouth, and Michael nodded. "But bring me that money on Monday. It'll be  _ worth  _ it."

"I… o-okay, Jake." Jake began to leave after that, and Michael stared at his own reflection for a few seconds. "S-Something that could f-fix my life… make me…  _ better _ … hey Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Where did you g-get this uh… SQUIP? J-Just asking… in case I do end u-up liking mine and wanting to get one for Jer-Jeremy." Michael was lying through his teeth, he just needed to see if the story was legit. He didn't know how much he could trust Jake, and he'd never give Jeremy a brain pill that would change him. He was already perfect.

"Oh, a guy at Payless is sellin' em. Bottom floor, Menlo Park Mall."

"O-Oh. Okay. Thanks." Jake nodded, walking out of the bathroom and spotting Jeremy coming into the school.

"Your boyfriend's in there." Jeremy rolled his eyes, walking into the bathroom to see Michael getting his bag on.

"Hey Micha." He turned to see Jeremy smiling at him softly. "You ready to go home?"

"Y-Yeah." Michael pulled the hoodie off and gave it to Jeremy before putting his cardigan back on. "L-Let's go home."

"Apocalypse of the Damned here we come!!" Jeremy grabbed Michael's hand and practically leaped in excitement before dragging him to the car. 

  
_ "Should… Should I tell him about the SQUIP?"  _ Michael asked himself,  _ "Maybe later. He's in a good mood right now." _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think of southern Jake?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two Player Game chapter, should be cute, but it really isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance for this because Michael's dad is a big meanie.

"You ready to beat level nine?" Jeremy had just set up the game, and Michael nodded in joyful agreement. "Well then, let's get to kickin' zombie ass." Jeremy started up the level, and the two boys began playing mindlessly, as they didn't need to really  _ think  _ about playing. It just came to them. "So, did Jake hurt you while you were tryna clean away his dirty work?"

"S-Surprisingly, no… He just t-talked to me." Michael realized he was probably gonna have to explain the SQUIP to Jeremy, if Jeremy asked, at least.

"About what? Because if he said anything mean to you I swear to God I'll-"

"H-He wasn't mean to me, 'R-Remy… I promise. You don't n-need to get yourself hurt tryna d-defend me."

"Okay. But seriously, what did he say?"

"H-He uh… Told me about this super computer called… Called a SQUIP? Yeah… Yeah that was it."

"A… A  _ what _ ?" Jeremy had dropped his controller, staring at Michael with nothing but fear and concern in his eyes.

"A S-SQUIP." Jeremy felt his heartbeat increasing rapidly, his face burning… Michael could tell he was upset, but he didn't know why. "'Remy you look w-worried, is something w-wrong?" Michael gently grabbed one of Jeremy's hands, which helped calm him down… Slightly. "Do… Do you k-know what SQUIPs are?"

"No I just… I… it sounds  _ dangerous _ , Micha. I don't trust it." Jeremy's voice was quiet, but firm. He was clearly adamant that Michael stay as far away from SQUIPs.

"B-But Jake said it c-could make my life less… s-shitty." 

"But think about it… Why would Jake, the guy who's tormented you for  _ two _ years, try and help you? He's probably scamming you, Micha." 

"T-That… makes sense. H-He did say it was… 600… D-D-Dollars. Yeah th-this is absolutely a scam… but h-he did say there was a g-guy at Payless s-selling them. Maybe we can c-check. See if i-it's real… You know?"

"I g-guess so, Micha." Michael picked up on Jeremy's slight stutter. Jeremy  _ never  _ stuttered.

"You w-wanna take a b-break? You seem really u-upset right n-now." Michael spoke calmly, and Jeremy nodded in response. "Wh-Why don't you g-go to the bathroom and t-take your binder off, and m-maybe splash w-water in your face. I-I know that helps you." 

"Okay…" Jeremy stood up, shaking slightly as he made his way out of Michael's bedroom and to the bathroom. He opened the door and locked it, sitting on the floor and trying to calm down.

_ "Michael's gonna get a SQUIP… he's… you can't let him do that. He can't go through the same thing  _ **_he_ ** _ did… he just… Can't. You can't lose him. You're gonna have to convince him  _ **_not_ ** **to** _ take a SQUIP."  _ Jeremy was trying to rationalize his rapid thoughts. He began pulling off his hoodie, making his way down so he could take off his binder.

He hadn't even noticed he was crying until he saw the tears that had fallen on his white shirt. 

_ "Shit."  _ He wiped his eyes, hoping Michael wouldn't notice. He heard heavy footsteps going down the hall… Michael's dad.  _ Great _ .

Michael was still in his room, restarting the game so he and Jeremy wouldn't die this time… 

_ "Maybe mentioning the SQUIP was a bad idea. It seemed to freak Jeremy out."  _ He thought, hearing stomps by his door and turning around to face his dad.

"H-Hi, Papa." Michael spoke meekly, shaking without Jeremy there to comfort him.

"Where's the tranny?"

"H-He had to use the restroom." Michael gulped slightly, and his father rolled his eyes.

"Of course  _ she _ did."

" _ He _ , Papa." Michael raised his voice slightly. Jeremy had already been upset, his dad  _ better  _ not make it worse.

"Whatever that…  _ thing  _ you call a friend is, I don't want it over here anymore. It's making you  _ soft _ ." Michael's eyes widened at the idea of Jeremy not visiting anymore. 

"I… Jeremy h-has been visiting for  _ years _ , Papa, you can't j-just tell him to  _ stop _ ." Michael ignored the tears beginning to form in his eyes as his dad walked closer.

"This is  _ my house _ , Michael. No son of mine is going to be turned soft by some tranny. Your mother's let this go on  _ long  _ enough. Now sit up, you look pathetic." His dad got down and repositioned Michael's back, straightening it out. "Better." He left the room, slamming the door shut.

Michael's posture broke immediately after he was out of sight, and he began sobbing into his knees. There was  _ no  _ reason Jeremy shouldn't be allowed to visit! Especially when he was the  _ one  _ good thing Michael had.

He was only taken out of his sobbing by a gentle knock at the door, followed by it opening slowly. He saw Jeremy standing in the doorway, concern washing over his face the moment their eyes locked.

"Micha- oh my God." Jeremy threw his binder on Michael's bed and quickly got down on his knees next to the taller male. He moved his hand to the spot between Michael's collarbones and began massaging light circles with his fingers. "What happened?"

"M-My d-dad said you co-couldn't co-come over anym-more…" Michael sobbed, and Jeremy brought him close, continuing to massage his back. 

"Hey, you can come over to my place every weekend if you want. My parents don't mind." Michael sniffed slightly, using a hand to grab Jeremy's free hand. "It's gonna be okay, Micha… I have an idea to calm you down."

"W-What is it?"

"I'm gonna push down right here on your back," Jeremy gently touched a spot on Michael's back, he knew releasing pressure from his posture would calm Michael down, and he knew that it was a small pressure point in the body. "It's gonna release pressure from your body. It'll hurt for a small second but I promise it'll feel better afterwards. Your posture's gonna relax too. Okay?"

"O-Okay 'Remy, I trust you." Jeremy proceeded to go through with pushing down softly on the spot, and, just as he'd predicted, Michael tensed, before relaxing his entire body. 

"Did that work?"

"M-Mmhm." Michael nodded slightly, and Jeremy was glad to see he'd calmed down. "'Remy, why does my l-life gotta suck?"

"Because you're surrounded by dumbasses who don't realize how wonderful you are. But I do. I always have, and I promise, when we're in college, your life will be better. I'll make sure of it."

"What happened in here?" The two boys looked up to see Michael's mom at the doorway of his bedroom. 

"H-Hi Mama." Michael smiled softly, and his mom opened the door the rest of the way with her foot.

"I brought food for you two." She placed a plate on Michael's bedside table. "Now, what happened?"

"Mike said I couldn't come over anymore." Jeremy stated bluntly. 

"Good Lord the nerve of that man," Michael's mom took a breath, calming herself down, then continued. "I'll talk with him. You're always welcome here Jeremy, long as  _ I'm  _ in charge, and last time I checked, I was." She smiled, ruffling both boys' hair before leaving.

"You wanna eat now, Micha?" Jeremy asked, and Michael nodded. They got on the bed and Jeremy began eating as many churros as he could fit in his mouth, while Michael just kind of nibbled at the end of a pizza slice.

"Ok, s-so back to the SQUIP… W-With how bad my l-life is now, I really see  _ no _ reason n-not to buy it. I-I have the money anyways." Michael ignored the voices in the back of his head telling that this was a stupid idea. This was  _ fine _ . 

"I still dunno Micha. It sounds unsafe."

"W-Well… Technology i-i-isn't dangerous on its own… Right?" Michael questioned, and Jeremy realized he wouldn't be able to get through to him.

"I guess you're right… I still don't like it though… What if you g…,"  _ Go insane? _ " ,… get hurt?"

"I-I'll tell you."

"…Fine." Jeremy pouted, but Michael zoned out and didn't realize it. "I can drive you to the mall on Sunday, I've gotta pick up some soda from the girl at Hot Topic anyways." 

"P-Perfect! Thanks 'Remy!" Michael hugged Jeremy tightly, and Jeremy felt his heart rate speeding up and his cheeks flushing. This was gonna be the last time he heard Michael sound this happy, wasn't it?

"Course, Micha… Anything for you."  _ Almost  _ anything. "Now let's finish up so we can start playing again."

"O-Okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any guesses as to who Jeremy keeps thinking about? He's dealt with Squips before, y'all can guess who "he" is. If you know then you have no rights.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Jeremy take a trip to the mall and things go to doo doo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys aren't too attached to Michael because oh boy the pain about to ensue uwu

It was the following Sunday, and Michael and Jeremy were at the entrance to the Payless, which they'd never been in before.

"I still don't trust this, Micha." Jeremy mumbled, having thrown his hood up over his head. He hated public spaces. 

"I-I know, and I'm k-kinda iffy, but if it makes m-my life a little l-less painful, I'm willing to r-risk it." Michael entered the Payless, placing his hand in his pocket, gripping the 600 dollars.

"Okay…" Jeremy followed behind Michael, staying close to his side as they approached a shady looking man.

"T-That's probably him." Jeremy looked over the guy in caution. He had a slouch- like both he and Michael had, but it wasn't  _ as _ bad- he was wearing a black hoodie, oversized, and he was genuinely creepy. He had sideburns too.

_ "In this day and age?"  _ Jeremy thought to himself, not saying anything allowed.

"E-Excuse me uh… are you selling," Michael looked to make sure nobody was listening before whispering, "S-SQUIPs?"

"Yesss, who's asking?" The guy turned around almost robotically, and Jeremy felt a lump forming in his throat. 

"I-I am. I would u-uh like one." Michael spoke softly, as he was about as terrified as Jeremy.

"Oh, yeah I can sees why. You's got it bad " Michael bit his lip, gripping the money tighter. "I needs 400."

"Wait… o-only 400?"

"Yeah. You gots a problem with that?"

"O-Oh of course not! H-Here," Michael fingered through the money, pulling out a little over 400 dollars and handing it to the guy.

"Well. That's that. Here ya go, kid." The man handed Michael a bag, the same kind Jake had earlier. "Oh and, you gots to take that with Mountain Dew. Dunno why, but ya do. Also, since this is kinds of illegal, you ain't gettin' a refund. And I have no idea what that things can do to you or what you can do wit' it."

"W-Wait what can it do to m-me?"

"I just said I don't knows… Anyways, I gots a customer so  _ scram _ ." Jeremy grabbed Michael's hand and led him outta the Payless and to the nearby food court, stopping by a vending machine on their way to get Mountain Dew. 

When the two sat down, Michael removed the pill from its bag and held it in his palm.

"W-Well… h-here we go…" Michael grabbed the bottle and opened it, plopping the pill into his mouth and taking a long drink from the bottle. When he put it down, he stuck his tongue out at the taste. "E-Ew." When he looked up at Jeremy, the brunette's eyes looked scared. Was he really  _ that  _ worried about the SQUIP?

"So… do you know if it worked?" Jeremy asked, and Michael shrugged. "Well… guess we're just gonna have to wait and see. Right?"

"Y-Yeah…" Michael noticed his hand twitch slightly, but he ignored it. "H-Hey didn't you say y-you needed to go to Hot T-Topic?"

"Oh, right. Can you stay here and save our seats for me, Micha?"

"C-Course, 'Remy." Michael watched as Jeremy threw his hood back on and made his way to Hot Topic. His gaze moved away from the blue hoodie and laid eyes on a certain Jenna Canigula and Richard Dillinger.

He thought maybe he should try and talk to her, and stood up, walking over to the two of them quietly.

"H-Hey Jenna." He spoke softly, and Jenna saw him and smiled happily.

"Oh, hey Michael! I didn't know you were here!" She remembered his name. That was good.

"I mean he is kinda impossible to notice." Rich rolled his eyes, and Michael felt his hand twitch again.  _ Why _ was it doing that?

"Rich that's rude." Jenna slapped Rich's shoulder slightly, and Michael felt another twitch in his hand. He looked at it up close and for a split second thought he saw his blood  _ glow  _ red. What the  _ hell _ !? "So, Michael, what're you doing here?" Jenna asked and Michael went to talk before his head began hurting. A  _ lot _ .

_ "Target female: inaccessible."  _ What was  _ that _ !? Michael winced slightly as the pain got worse. He looked down at his hand again and the glowing was back. He stepped back, Jenna must have noticed.

"Michael are… are you okay?"

_ "Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort." _ Michael began hugging himself and breathing heavily.  _ What  _ was happening.

"Michael what's wrong?" Jenna tried to touch his arm gently but he slapped her away, more so on impulse than on purpose.

"The freak's havin' a breakdown! Oh Christine has  _ got  _ to see this." Rich began texting Christine, supposedly, and at this point, Michael was on the floor.

"Rich this is  _ serious _ !!" Jenna had gotten on her knees, trying to figure out what was wrong with Michael. "I think he may be having some kind of anxiety attack."

_ "Calibration complete." _ The pain stopped, and Michael breathed out softly, but shakily.

"Michael, are you okay?"

"I-I think so." Michael pushed his body up, shaking.

"What was that?" 

"I don't k-"

_ "Access procedure initiated. Discomfort level may increase."  _ The pain came  _ back  _ but  _ worse _ . Michael couldn't help but scream, falling back down and tightly gripping at his hair.

"That's it, we're leaving." Rich grabbed Jenna's hand and basically dragged her away from Michael, who was sobbing at this point.  _ Where was Jeremy!? How was he not hearing this!? _

_ "Accessing neural memory. Accessing muscle memory. Access procedure complete."  _ Michael tried to lift his body up again, and he saw a pair of legs when he did. 

"W-Who-"

_ "Michael Heere," _ The figure got down on one knee, lifting Michael's head gently.  _ "Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor."  _ Michael's eyes widened when he realized what was happening.  _ "Your SQUIP."  _

"O-Oh my God, you… why do you l-look like Bob Marley?" Michael asked, cocking his head as he looked at the SQUIP in confusion.

_ "My different modes are accustomed to you as a person. If you would like me to change from default, I will do so."  _ The SQUIP looked at Michael with red eyes.

'Must be some kinda aesthetic thing.' Michael thought to himself.

_ "It is primarily aesthetic, yes."  _

"Huh." Michael muttered, receiving a small… Shock? Was that a shock??

_ "Yes. It's optimal you don't speak with me aloud, people may think you are delusional. You don't want that. It is better that you think at me." _

'Like… this?' 

_ "Yes, that is perfect behavior."  _

'Wait, won't I be distracted if I have to constantly think at you?'

_ "Not at all. I can process your thoughts as well as behaviors of those around you. You do not have to worry about what people around you are doing. All you have to do is pay attention to me."  _ The SQUIP had helped Michael stand up, and was now circling him, observing.  _ "We have work to do if you wish to catch the eye of someone like Jenna Canigula, starting with appearances." _

Michael felt pressure on his back, the middle to be specifically, and he was pushed into a straight standing posture.

'How did you do that?' Michael had tensed up. The SQUIP had pushed his back up like his father did all the time. 

_ "I applied pressure to your body to act as if somebody had laid their hands on your back. A better posture will help you appear more attractive to females."  _

'Oh. I guess that makes sense.' 

_ "Now to fix the rest of your appearance. Luckily your mother has hair supplies and makeup at home. All you need to do is find clothes that make you look less like a nerd and more like somebody worthy of attention."  _ Michael felt his heart sting a little at the insult. Maybe it didn't mean to come off as rude. It's a computer after all.

Whatever, it… Didn't matter. This would all turn out well in the long run… He just had to keep telling himself that.

_ "Go into that store. We need to buy you new clothing."  _ Michael did as told, the SQUIP keeping the pressure on his back to keep his posture straight. Maybe he'd get used to it.  _ "You will. It will become a natural behavior within time." _

'Okay.' Michael entered the store he'd been directed into, looking around and disliking it already. 'I don't really shop in places like this.'

_ "Well, this is where most of your popular peers come to shop. If you want any chance at befriending them and getting with Jenna, you will need to look sleeker than you do presently. Grab that jacket."  _ Michael picked up a gray jacket with black sleeves, a black hood, and blue accents. 

'Blue isn't really my thing, is there a red version?' Michael felt a small shock go through his wrists, and didn't say anything more.

_ "This jacket isn't too expensive, it's on sale. Now to get you some shirts. I'll pick one, then you try to pick one."  _ Michael grabbed the shirt he was told to, expressing disgust for it.  _ "I know it is out of your taste, but it is far more attractive than your normally large attire."  _

'Okay.' He put the shirt on his arm with the jacket, glad he had a little less than 200 dollars left on him.

_ "Now, why don't you try and pick out a shirt?"  _ Michael nodded and looked around before a familiar shade of blue caught his eyes. He made his way over the shirt, running his thumb across it and liking the texture. It was just a simple shirt, no designs or anything.  _ "Hmm, alright. This seems acceptable enough."  _ Michael smiled gently at the slight bit of praise he had received, before he got more of the feeling from nothing.  _ "I released dopamine in your brain as an indicator of your positive behavior. You keep acting like this, and you'll get this feeling more often." _

'So… positive reinforcement?'

_ "Correct. You are somebody who desperately lacks that. If you can learn to respect yourself, and get praised for acceptable behavior, you will gain somewhat of an ego boost. You won't get an inflated ego, but you need some kind of ego to be seen as worthwhile."  _ Michael nodded, going to turn around, heading to the check out, but being spotted by Brooke Valentine and Chloe Lohst.

"Mitchell?" Brooke addressed him in a harsh tone, and he felt his throat tighten. The SQUIP placed pressure on his tense shoulders to relax him slightly.

_ "Correct her, but don't be harsh. Just say 'It's Michael, actually.'" _

"It's Michael, actually." Michael felt another rush of good feelings, which he enjoyed.

_ "Say hi to Chloe." _

"Hey, Chloe." Another dose of dopamine was released in Michael's body, and he actually started  _ smiling _ . For  _ once _ . 

"Hi." She seemed to blush slightly. 

_ "You look pretty."  _

"You uh… look very pretty today." The dopamine rush was a lot larger than the last one, and Michael was  _ living  _ for it.

"Thanks." Chloe's blush grew slightly, and she shyly looked down at her feet.

_ "You're doing excellent, Michael."  _

"So, what are you doing here?" Brooke questioned, stepping in between Chloe and Michael. "And where's your lil friend, the one with the headphones?"

_ "Jeremy's in another store right now. As for me, I'm just about to buy new clothes."  _ Michael repeated what the SQUIP said, enjoying the positive feeling that followed.

"Well they're… okay." Brooke examined the clothes, and Michael nodded in agreement, not having any prompt from the SQUIP to go off of. 

"You wanna go with us to Pinkberry?" Chloe asked sweetly, and Michael didn't know how to respond.

_ "Yes." _

"Yes…" Wait, he had to meet up with Jeremy, "A-Actually I… I can't. I-I gotta meet up with Jeremy. S-Sorry." Michael got a harsh shock because of his stutters, or because he didn't listen to the SQUIP; Either way, it hurt. 

"Oh, maybe later then?" Chloe smiled hopefully, and Michael just nodded, watching them leave before he paid for his clothes and left himself. 

When he got back to the dining hall, he looked around for Jeremy, not spotting him anywhere.

'Where did he go?'

_ "He left the mall."  _ The SQUIP was once again placing pressure on Michael's back, and Michael felt himself freeze in place.  _ "Chloe was going to be your ride home. Had you done as instructed, you would get home safe and sound tonight." _

'How was I supposed to know he left when you didn't tell me?' Michael jolted at the shock, shoving his clothes in his bag and running to a nearby bathroom, locking himself in a stall and breathing heavily. 

"J-Just calm down… just c-calm d-down…" He whispered to himself, curling into a ball and beginning to cry softly. He was alone at the mall. He had no way home. He didn't know  _ what  _ to do. He was scared and wanted to go home.

The SQUIP had stopped being visible, but Michael figured it was still there…  _ listening. _ Why did Jeremy  _ leave  _ the mall? He'd never leave Michael… would he? No no, he… he wouldn't.

_ "Michael?"  _ Michael looked up. Did Jeremy come back for him?

"'R-Remy?"

_ "Michael oh my God-"  _ Michael's head began hurting and he scrunched his face in pain, closing his eyes and holding his head.  _ "Micha, you okay?"  _ Michael opened his eyes and saw  _ Jeremy _ kneeling next to… something seemed…  _ off  _ about him… But it was probably because Michael's head hurt. 

"'R-Remy… I thought y-you left…" Michael cried softly, and  _ Jeremy _ gently placed a hand on his cheek.

_ "No, no I didn't. I would never."  _ Michael fell into  _ Jeremy's  _ touch with ease, glad he was still there… 

"I w-wanna go h-home… " Michael whimpered, and  _ Jeremy  _ gently kissed his forehead, which Michael froze at. "Uhhh… 'R-Remy?"

_ "Shh, you need to relax before you go anywhere. Okay, Micha?"  _ Michael nodded.  _ Jeremy  _ moved his fingers to Michael's back and pushed lightly, which released the pressure from his body.  _ "You feelin' better, Micha?" _

"Mmhm…" Michael smiled gently, ignoring the blood rushing to his cheeks. 

_ "You ready to go home?"  _ Michael nodded, and  _ Jeremy  _ helped him up, walking him out of the stall, out of the bathroom, and out of the mall. Michael must've blacked out at some point on the way home, cause when he came to,  _ Jeremy _ was gone, and he was in his bed.

***

Jeremy finally left the Hot Topic, holding the newly acquired Orbitz and Crystal Pepsi in his hands.

"Michael I'm ba- Michael?" Jeremy froze when he saw his bag alone in the food court. He placed the sodas inside and looked around the food court. "Michael?" He pulled his hood up and began walking around the large expanse.  _ Where did Michael go? _

He pulled his phone out and called Michael, hoping he'd answer. No response. He tried texting. No response. He tried messaging him on Discord, but was told that they didn't share a server.  _ What? _ That only would be happening if Michael blocked him… But Michael… Hadn't? What was up?

He called Michael's number again, still not getting a response. He felt fear well up inside of him. Michael was  _ missing  _ and Jeremy was  _ worried _ . Why would Michael…  _ Wait _ .

Jeremy realized the SQUIP must have turned on, because the Mountain Dew had vanished from their table. 

'Oh no, oh no, oh no-" Jeremy began speed walking out of the mall, practically dashing to his car, getting inside and starting it up. He saw Michael on the street, walking, or rather, stumbling, home. 'You gotta help him.' Jeremy thought, but he realized Michael probably wouldn't notice. Just like…  _ him _ .

He'd have to find out  _ some _ kind of cure. He couldn't let Michael succumb to  _ this  _ if he already looked this  _ weak _ .

"Don't worry Micha." Jeremy placed his hands on the steering wheel, eyes brimming with tears as he began backing up. "I'm gonna get you back. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So how do you feel about our current development of pain uwu?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael's day goes decently where as Jeremy's is hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a week late, I would've posted it last week but I was feelin kinda bad so.

When Michael woke up the next morning, he hardly remembered what had happened the day before. What day was it again?

_ "It's Monday."  _ He froze for a second, before remembering he had a SQUIP.  _ "You slept well." _

"Oh uh… w-wha-" A shock, Michael shook his head and began thinking at the SQUIP. 'Sorry, but what happened last night?'

_ "Jeremy came back for you upon realizing you were still in the mall. He brought you home safely last night, and you fell unconscious on the way here. You were completely drained."  _ The SQUIP explained, and Michael nodded.  _ "Now, we need to get you a morning routine." _

'Why?'

_ "Because, it will help keep you grounded. Your normal routine is messy, unorganized. I can organize it however, and to optimal effect. First, you're going to do a round of 30 push ups. You need to wake yourself up, and you also need to work off some of that extra fat."  _

'Oh. Okay.' Michael got out of the bed and got on the floor, assuming push up position. 

_ "Good. Now you only have to do 30. You do not need to overwork yourself. If you are successful, I will provide a dopamine rush. If you fail, you will be slightly shocked. Understand?" _ Michael gulped, nodding as he began to do the push-ups.

He failed every one. 

_ "It is quite alright, Michael. This is the first round. From here, you will only improve, I promise."  _ Michael nodded, standing up and stretching. The SQUIP applied pressure to his shoulder, the pressure turning into the feeling of a massage.  _ "You're doing great so far. The push ups are a minor setback, but you do not need to worry about them."  _ Michael nodded.  _ "Now to continue this routine, a warm shower every morning will help you feel better. Grab your new shirt for the day." _

'Okay.' Michael grabbed the shirt and made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

_ "I will deactivate my physical form while you shower. I would not want you to be too uncomfortable."  _ Michael nodded, turning the shower on and letting the water warm up.

After removing his clothes and stepping in, he washed his entire body off with ease, including his messy hair. The SQUIP was right, this did make him feel better. 

_ "Did you doubt me? I know what is best for you, Michael."  _ The SQUIP spoke softly, and Michael didn't really respond. He was too busy relishing in the warm water to respond.

He finally got out and dried off, putting on his clothes and looking at himself in the mirror.

_ "Do not leave the bathroom yet. We are going to make your hair and face look a little less exhausted. There is some concealer about the color of your skin under the sink. There is also hair gel."  _

'What am I gonna do with the concealer?' Michael asked, pulling it out from under the sink.

_ "You're going to conceal your moles. Except for the one by your eye. That's a beauty mark. People will envy you for it, but in a positive light." _ The SQUIP's words almost contradicted themselves, and Michael felt a little  _ bad  _ hiding part of who he was.  _ "I understand it hurts, but your peers will view your moles as imperfections. That's just how society is." _

'Okay…" Michael gently ran a hand over the mole directly above the corner of his lip, and the SQUIP applied a soft pressure to his back. 

_ "Now I'll help you to apply the concealer. We'll gel your hair afterwards." _

'Okay.'

***

When the SQUIP told Michael he was finished, he didn't even  _ look  _ the same. He looked like a new person.

_ "Exactly. We need to give you a newer reputation."  _ Michael didn't know how he felt about his new appearance. He felt  _ off _ .  _ "You'll get used to it, I promise." _

'I… Hope so.' Michael left the bathroom, finding his new jacket and putting it on. He felt so wrong in all this blue. Blue was Jeremy's thing.

***

Michael had walked to school that morning, not wanting to listen to his dad complain about everything wrong with the world like he did  _ every  _ morning. Plus, the SQUIP said walking would be good for Michael's legs.

When Michael got to his locker, he heard footsteps and turned to see Jake walking towards him.

'Oh shit, oh shit, what do I-'

_ "Relax, Michael."  _ The SQUIP began massaging Michael's shoulders again, but not without keeping his back straight up.

"Hey Michael, so where's my money?" Jake asked, and Michael bit his lip. He had forgotten Jake asked him for 600.

_ "Up up down down left right A."  _ Michael felt a jolt up his spine, and apparently Jake did as well.

'What did yo-'

"You got one?" Jake's eyes changed for a second, but Michael couldn't tell how. He nodded. "That's dope, man! I could've used the money, but ah whatever." Jake shrugged, and Michael cocked his head slightly. Jake needed money? But he had a  _ literal  _ mini-mansion for a house. "So you think you could come over sometime? We could play some video games. I got a Playstation and an Xbox."

'I don't know how to play those.'

_ "Tell him that you've never played before." _

"I've never played Xbox or Playstation before." Michael repeated without argument. He felt the SQUIP begin the dopamine releases yet again.

"Aw man really? I thought you liked video games."

"O-Oh I do I just… Never played those." Michael had gotten a slight shock, most likely from the stutter. 

"Well it'll be easy, especially with a SQUIP, because it's the only controller you need! Anyways, I gotta catch up with Rich. See you later?" He held his hand out for a fist bump, and Michael awkwardly reciprocated.

Wow, he just had a civil conversation, no, make that a  _ friendly  _ conversation, with Jake! That's  _ never  _ happened before!

_ "You see the benefits of purchasing me?"  _ Michael nodded, even if he still felt off, he'd adjust. Surely.

He finally got what he needed for the day, making his way to class, actually finding himself smiling about what was to come.

***

Jeremy had a morning the  _ exact  _ opposite of Michael's. He woke up on the couch, forgetting he'd passed out on it, and hadn't even bothered changing clothes, or combing his hair. The only thing he had to do was remove his binder since he'd passed out in it which wasn't safe for him at all. A day without it wouldn't kill him. Besides, he had his hoodie.

When he got to school he saw… Was that Michael? He couldn't tell. But if it was, he looked  _ different _ . And he was talking to Jake?  _ What!?  _ Jeremy felt his stomach churn just looking at Michael like this.

He looked so  _ wrong _ . His hair was gelled, and he was wearing a lot of cold colors, which was unlike him. He didn't even have his cardigan.

'What did the SQUIP do to him?' Jeremy continued to watch Michael and Jake, waving to see if Michael would notice him.

He didn't even look his way. 

***

The day went  _ great  _ for Michael, all his classes finished with ease, every conversation perfected, he couldn't think of a day where his life went by any easier! This was incredible!!

_ "Now remember Michael, you still have rehearsal."  _ The SQUIP reminded, and Michael nodded, waiting for the bell to ring and release him from class. When it did ring, he practically bounced out of his seat, not even realizing that Jeremy was sitting directly behind him, trying to get his attention.

As Michael left class happily, Jeremy sat there for a good minute, staring at where his best friend had been merely  _ seconds  _ ago. He knew he should just let the SQUIP run its course, Michael would realize it's bad soon enough and then he'd tell Jeremy he didn't _ want  _ it anymore… 

But he couldn't stand seeing Michael this way… He decided he'd stay after and wait for him, even if Michael wouldn't look at him, Jeremy would  _ make  _ him look at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how yall enjoyin' Squip Jere?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jenna tells Michael about her crush and things don't end well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double posting today, this marks the end of Act 1.

Michael entered the auditorium with a bounce in his step, noting how Jenna was talking to Brooke and Chloe, well, more like Brooke was teasing Jenna for  _ something _ . When the two girls left, he made his way down to the seat.

_ "Just say hey, Jenna."  _

"Hey Jenna." Michael spoke with more confidence than he had the first time they talked. Jenna looked at him and smiled sadly.

"Hey." She seemed sad.

_ "Are you okay? You look upset."  _ Michael repeated the SQUIP's words, and Jenna shook her head.  _ "You wanna talk about it?"  _ Being fed what to ask made talking to Jenna much easier, Michael thought.

"I… I guess." Michael sat down next to her, reading every miniscule movement she made. Her hands were resting on her lap, clutching the black dress she had on. Her purple cardigan was slumped off of her shoulder, and her face looked tired. "I just… I've been thinking and… There's this guy I really like, right?" Michael nodded,  _ he knew what that felt li-  _ he jolted slightly, Jenna didn't notice. "And I've known about him for a while, since seventh grade I think, and he's just… he's changed and I want to get to know him. Does… Does that make sense?"

_ "Yes."  _ Michael repeated the answer calmly,a dopamine rush went through him.

"Good, I hoped I did." Silence. "Do you uh… think that maybe… I should go after him?" She looked at him curiously, and he didn't know what to say.

'Is… Is she talking about me?'

_ "Of course. You've changed exponentially in only a day. Surely she's taken note of that." _

'So I should tell her yes?'

_ "Yes." _ Michael provided the response to Jenna's question, and her face lit up.

"Really!?"

"Mmhm." She hugged Michael tightly, and he felt his face heat up.  _ Why was he blushing? Only Jeremy made him blush.  _

_ "Ask who it is" _

"If I can uh… Ask. Who… Who is the guy? That you were talking about?" Another rush from the SQUIP, Michael must've been improving already.

"Oh uh… It's… It's Rich…"

"... I…"

_ "Warning! Warning!"  _ Michael lost control of his legs and realized he was being forced to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Jenna called out, and Michael came up with something on the fly.

"Bathroom!" He eventually left the auditorium, shaking as he dropped in front of a set of lockers across from the door. 

'What the hell happened!?' A shock, Michael was panicking and the SQUIP wasn't _ helping _ .

_ "I'm not sure. I expected her to be talking about you specifically. I couldn't have predicted such a mishap… What is wrong with you? Your breathing is unsteady, and destabilising quickly."  _ Michael was holding his hair tightly, his breathing rapidly becoming unsteady. He couldn't stop it. He didn't remember  _ how  _ to stop it.  _ "Are you going to keep ignoring me?"  _ The SQUIP looked at Michael in confusion.  _ "I'll shut myself off until you can steady yourself." _

When Michael's head went quiet, he looked around, panicking. 

"H-Hello? Where'd you… Where'd you go?" Michael whimpered softly. His SQUIP had turned off. He curled into a ball, Jenna liked  _ Rich _ . She was going to get her heart broken… he had gotten his heart broken.  _ Of course she doesn't like him, nobody does. Even now, he's unworthy of somebody liking him. _

"Micha?" He was snapped out of his thoughts by a soft voice. He looked up and felt a sigh of relief overtake him when he saw Jeremy standing there. "What happened?" He got down on his knees and crawled over to Michael. "You look so…Different. I almost didn't recognize you."

"O-Oh that's uh… That's the SQUIP's doing." Michael let out a dry laugh as he found himself lying on Jeremy's shoulder. "It said I-I needed to change my wardrobe to be w-worthy of Jenna's love…"

"Well that's dumb. I think you're plenty worthy of her love as you are." Michael felt his cheeks heating up. Jeremy always knew what to say. "So, I'm assuming… the SQUIP… Worked?"

"Mhm." Michael muttered, and Jeremy's eyes seemed to flash with nothing but worry for Michael. "It's… Been okay. Although it almost c-caused me to have a panic attack at the mall last night." Jeremy's face went pale. Michael hadn't had a panic attack alone in  _ years _ , Jeremy hoped he didn't freak out too much. 

"Shit, are you okay? Did you remember what I told you?"

"I-I was fine once you s-showed up…" 

"What?" Jeremy was… Confused. He hadn't… been there. He hadn't been able to care for Michael at all. "I was still at the Hot Topic. I saw you stumbling home by yourself." 

"No? Y-You… wait…" Michael looked away, thinking at the SQUIP to turn back on. 'You said Jeremy took me home.'

_ "He did. Just not the real him."  _ The SQUIP's form flickered for a second before it reappeared as an exact replica of Jeremy.

"What!?" Michael covered his mouth, breathing heavily. 

"Micha, you okay?" Jeremy placed a hand on Michael's shoulder, trying to figure out what he was staring at. "Micha?"

"W-Why do… you look like… J-J-"

_ "Aw, what's the matter, Micha? You look a lil upset."  _ How was this  _ possible _ !? The SQUIP sounded  _ just  _ like Jeremy! It  _ looked  _ just like Jeremy!  _ "Don't look so scared, Micha, I'm right here for you."  _ The replica Jeremy smiled at Michael, it felt wrong. It  _ looked  _ wrong. 

"Micha what are you lookin' at?"

"The… The SQUIP… it… it l-looks… It looks l-like… like… " Michael's voice was cut off by the SQUIP, and he was shaking violently.

"Hey hey, it's alright. Just… Here." Jeremy grabbed Michael's hand, holding it close and running his thumb on top of Michael's knuckles. "It's okay. I've got you." Michael was curled into Jeremy now, trying not to look at the SQUIP. That was easier said than done.

The SQUIP lifted Michael's head against the teen's will, making eye contact with him.

_ "You seem too infatuated with Jeremy. That… May be a problem."  _ The SQUIP's red eyes practically lit up and it smiled.  _ "I have an idea."  _

'Mm?' Michael didn't want to listen to his SQUIP. It was hard to avoid listening to it. It was  _ in  _ his head. 

_ "What if I become your Jeremy?"  _ Michael didn't like the sound of that. Replace Jeremy? Why would he do that?  _ "It's clear you are infatuated with him, it's a feeling more than friendship, but you know you can't be with him. Your father would kill you, and you wouldn't want to be sent away, to be traumatized by correctional therapy… would you?" _

'No.'

_ "Then I suggest you go along with my plan. You won't even notice that Jeremy's gone. All you have to do is say 'Optic Nerve Blocking: On'. That's not hard, is it?" _

'I… okay.' Michael finally sat up, wiping his eyes and sniffling.

"Michael? You've been really quiet, you okay?" 

"'Remy… I'm sorry." Michael stood up, turning away from Jeremy, who was clearly confused.

"Micha? What are you-"

"O-Optic… optic nerve b-blocking…" Michael swallowed, closing his eyes as his voice dropped below a whisper. "On…" He glanced back, there was nothing there.

_ "Well, we should probably get back to rehearsal, right Micha?"  _ Michael's attention was pulled away to the SQ-  _ Jeremy _ . This was Jeremy for him, now. 

'Yeah… we should.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, predictions for how insane Jeremy is gonna go in the next chapter?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter spans the entire month that Michael has a SQUIP. Jeremy is panicking and Michael is being manipulated. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a graphic nightmare with some blood as well as mentions of food deprivation, sleep deprivation, and genuinely just a lot of suffering.

As Michael walked off and slowly made his way back to rehearsal, Jeremy stood up, watching with broken eyes. 

"Michael?" Michael had looked back, but he seemed to not see Jeremy. It's as if he wasn't standing there. 

Jeremy pulled his hood up and walked off.  _ He had to save Michael _ . He wiped the tears beginning to flow from his eyes as he made his way to the parking lot.  _ He had to save Michael. _ He got into his car and started it up.  _ He had to save Michael. He had to- _

He stopped. He knew who he had to call.

"I'll save you, Micha. I don't care what it takes." Jeremy began driving out of the parking lot. He had to save Michael. He had to. He  _ had  _ to.

He had to.

***

"Michael! You ran off and I was gonna chase after you but I had to do a scene. Are…Are you okay?" After going back into the auditorium, Michael had been spotted by Chloe. She was clearly worried about him. 

"I'm… I'm fine. I just had to really use the bathroom." Michael scratched his neck lightly, feeling a rush of dopamine go through his system. 

_ "You're doin' great, Micha."  _ He felt a small pressure against his forehead.  _ Was that a kiss? "Mhm. Just keep this up and I'll give you even more love than you can handle."  _

"Okay I was just worried. Anyways, with rehearsal ending soon I uh… Wanted to ask you something." Chloe was red in the face, and Michael noticed it. Did she… Like him?

_ "How could she not? You're amazing."  _ Michael felt another kiss placed on his forehead.  _ Jeremy  _ really knew how to flatter him.  _ He always had. "Now, you should focus on Chloe. She's interested." _

'Okay…' 

***

Jeremy practically ran into his house, pulling his hood down and making his way into the kitchen.

"Hey son, you're home early. Weren't you bringing Michael over today?" His dad must not have had work today. "Son?"

"Can't talk dad. I'm gonna be in my room all night, need food and drink." Jeremy grabbed a leftover pizza, a bunch of churros, and all of the soda he'd bought yesterday at the mall. With his hands full, he made his way upstairs to his room. He set his food on his bedside table, his sodas in his minifridge, and sat down in his desk chair. 

He  _ had  _ to figure out a way to save Michael, meaning he had to call-

"C'mon, Jared. Pick up. Please pick up." Jeremy tapped his phone impatiently, waiting for something.

"Ey, Jerry, how's it goin?"  _ Oh thank God, he answered. _

"Hey Jared, is… Is Alec with you? I needa know, it's about Michael and-"

"Yeah he's here. Yo Ally, Jeremy's on the phone! Yes he wants to talk! Aight lemme put it on speaker and… there. Okay, Jerry, you are on speaker."

"Okay. So, I have some  _ awful  _ news about Michael. I didn't know who else to tell so I called you guys… But… Michael got a SQUIP. I tried to persuade him not to but now I… I don't know what to do. I don't even think he can see me… I assumed maybe you two could h-help because I-I can't… L-L-Lose anyone el-" Jeremy grabbed at his chest, squeezing his hoodie violently.  _ He was panicking.  _ He bit his lip, dropping his phone on the table.

"Jerry? You okay?" Jared was so loud Jeremy could still hear him. "Shit, Ally I think he's havin' a breakdown, I don't know him like you do can you- okay c'mere."

"Jeremy, can you hear me?" Alec's voice was soft, and Jeremy shakily picked the phone up. "Jere?"

"I-I can h-hear you."

"Ok, just… you remember the breathing exercises I taught you and Michael. Okay?"

"O-Okay." Jeremy took in a breathe. 7 seconds. 6… 5… 4… 3… 2… 1. Breathe out. 5 seconds. 4… 3… 2… 1. He repeated himself multiple times, wiping his eyes. "I-I think… I think I'm good."

"Good. Now, what all has happened to Michael? Take it slow if you need to." Alec's tone was littered with worry. He had a right to be worried, Michael was his little brother, Jeremy practically was too.

"Well… I think it's messing with his memories. He thought I took him home from the mall last night but I saw him stumbling home with  _ bright  _ red eyes. He looked dazed. Like… like he was overdosed on some kinda drug…"  _ Well, the SQUIP is a pill, so it counts?  _ "When he talked to me today he was having a massive meltdown. I calmed him down but then I think he turned his SQUIP back on and things got weird and… He left without even seeing me. It's… like I didn't exist." Jeremy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and choking up slightly. "It's the same bullshit as before except now it's with Michael…"

"Alright, I compiled a list of everything you said it did. Me and Jared will see if we can find anything about it tonight, you just try and calm down, okay? You seem really out of it a-"

"I can't calm down! Not when my best friend is in mortal fucking danger! I can't stop for a second because I could lose him and  _ I can't lose him,  _ Alec. I need to save him. If I don't… we'll both lose him." Jeremy's cheeks were heated like hell at this point, so red that combining them with the green of his eyes looked like Christmas. "I just… I can't calm down when Michael is barely out of my reach. That  _ thing  _ is hurting him… Changing him… and I won't let myself sit by as my best friend turns himself into an oblivious computer zombie, or, whatever he turns himself into."

"I… alright Jere, just… Don't overwork yourself, okay?"

"Yeah, Jerry, you better not kill yourself from working so hard."

"I… I promise I'll try and keep myself rested… I'm gonna…Go now. Bye guys, thanks for helpin' out."

"Welcome. Bye, Jere."

"Bye Jerry." Jeremy hung up, sighing violently. He  _ couldn't  _ rest. He couldn't. Not when Michael needed him. He needed him now more than ever. 

"I won't let this thing control you, Micha… I promise…. I'll save you somehow." Jeremy turned his laptop on, pulling one of his  _ many  _ empty notebooks. He was going to find as much as he could on SQUIPs. He was going to write down everything he could about Michael's state. He had to protect him… He had to save him. He had to save him he  _ had to- _

"Private?" Jeremy turned to see his dad in the doorway, worry obvious by his tone. "You okay? You seemed pretty worried when you came in and-" Jeremy finally broke. He let tears stream his cheeks like rushing waterfalls. "Woah woah, hey, hey, what's wrong?" His dad came over to him and Jeremy couldn't help but hug him tightly.

"M-Michael needs me… He needs me but I-I-I can't s-save him… I can't… he needs me but I can't s-save… I… I don't wanna lose h-him, dad… I don't wanna lose h-him…" Jeremy sobbed, shaking as he continued hugging his father. 

"What's wrong with him?"

"I-I can't explain… I just… I just wanna h-help him…"

  
  


***

Michael was currently following Chloe outside the school. She was leading him across the empty football field, right to the bleachers. 

"Where are we going?" He asked, and Chloe began hopping up the bleachers.

"My favorite place on campus. Top of the bleachers, it's just  _ really  _ pretty. I used to sit up there all the time with my last boyfriend… I come up here even now." Chloe finally sit down, placing her hand for Michael to sit down with her.

_ "Go ahead and sit down, Micha. She wants to talk."  _ Michael did as told, sitting down by Chloe softly.  _ "Ask her what she wanted to ask you earlier." _

"Hey uh, what did you wanna ask me, back in rehearsal?" The dopamine rush went through Michael again, and he couldn't stop his smiling.

"Oh yeah! I uh… I just wanted to umm… ask if maybe you uh… Wanted to go on a date this Friday? Nothing serious, just a small date, maybe to Pinkberry? Only if you want to, though." She had a soft smile on her face, blush creeping over her cheeks.

_ "Tell her you'd love to, than gently hold her hand and kiss it."  _ Michael nodded, internally of course, before proceeding with the task at hand.

"I'd love to." He kissed her hand lightly and she squeaked. He felt another dopamine rush as  _ Jeremy  _ placed his hands on Michael's shoulders.

_ "You're doing excellent Micha, everybody's going to love you as much as I do before you know it." _

'That sounds great, 'Remy.'

_ "Now you should probably take Chloe to her car, offer her a walk there, ya know?"  _ Michael did as told, and once Chloe had left the school, he made his way home himself.

***

When he got home, Michael was drained, which made no sense, as he'd gotten proper sleep and felt fine before he left.

_ "It's probably due to how much change you've been through today. If you want, I could do your homework for you so you can rest." Jeremy  _ offered sweetly, and Michael nodded.  _ "Let's get you to your room then, Micha." _

Once in his room, Michael kicked his shoes off and removed his hoodie. 

_ "Now just lay down and get your rest, okay?" _

"Mmhm…" Michael yawned, laying down and closing his eyes.

_ "N'night, Micha. I love you." _

"L...Love you too, 'Remy…" 

***

When Michael woke up, it was still daylight outside, and  _ Jeremy  _ was sitting in his desk chair. He turned around to see Michael laying there, eyes open.

_ "Didja have a nice nap, Micha?" _

'Mmhm.' Michael wiped his eyes and sat up, stretching as he did so. 'Did you finish all my homework? If you didn't its fi-'

_ "I finished every last bit of it for you, Micha."  _ The brunette had a satisfied smile on his face as Michael walked over and checked the work. All of it  _ was  _ indeed finished.  _ "We can do whatever you want now."  _ There was a small smirk followed by that statement, but Michael didn't really notice. 

'I don't really… Wanna do anything right now. I'm still kinda tired…'

_ "We can lay down together if you want." _

'But what if-'

_ "Your dad won't see, I promise."  _ Michael sighed as he made his way back to the bed, laying down on the far left, and watching as  _ Jeremy _ crawled on next to him.  _ "I bet you're happy we finally get to do this." _

'I really am… I've wanted to do this for so long…' Michael nuzzled into the crook of  _ Jeremy's  _ neck. He felt as the shorter male ran his arms up his back. 'That feels really nice, 'Remy.' 

_ "I can make it nicer." Jeremy  _ placed his hand in between Michael's shoulder blades and pushed lightly, releasing any pressure and tension from Michael's body.  _ "How's that feel?"  _

'So good… so… so good.' Michael was smiling blissfully as his eyelids began to become heavy.

_ "You sleepy again?" _

'Mmhm…"

_ "Alright then, you just get your rest Micha."  _ Michael felt a kiss placed on his forehead as he finally closed his eyes again.  _ "We've got a big week ahead of us, so you deserve this break. G'night, Micha. I love you." _

'Love you too, 'Remy.' 

***

It was now 12:30 at night, Jeremy hadn't been able to sleep, because he'd been too busy worrying about Michael. He couldn't stop thinking about how he'd seen Michael at the mall. It's like those hollow red eyes were haunting him… he'd never seen Michael so miserable. 

"Jeremy?" He looked to the door to see his dad checking in on him a second time. 

"Mm?" Jeremy sat up, clicking the lamp on and grabbing his glasses.

"Just came in here to check on you after earlier, you… feelin' any better?" His dad came and sat on the side of the bed, looking at his son with worry.

"No." Jeremy muttered, pulling his legs up to his chest. "I'm just… I dunno what to do… I don't wanna lose Michael, but I don't have anyone who'll be able to help me…" 

"I'm sure you'll figure out something, I mean, you're a smart boy after all."

"I… I guess." Jeremy looked down and sighed. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know if he'd even be able to  _ save _ Michael.

"I tell ya what, you get through this week, then me and your mom'll see what we can do to help you over the weekend. How's that sound?"

"... Okay…" 

"Now you try and get your rest, Private. We'll figure this out, okay?"

"Okay dad." Jeremy's dad made his way outta the room, probably expecting Jeremy to try and go back to bed.

He didn't.

He grabbed his phone and began looking for anything he could on SQUIPs. He had to find out how to shut them off. He  _ had  _ to. Michael needed him more now than ever.

He didn't sleep that night.

***

Michael woke up that Tuesday feeling better than he had the day before. He could get used to waking up in a good mood.

_ "Good morning, Micha."  _ He turned to see  _ Jeremy  _ standing there, fully dressed and smiling happily.  _ "Did you sleep well?" _

'Mmhm.'

_ "That's good, anyways we should probably get you ready for school."  _ Michael nodded, going to the closet and grabbing the clothes he was told to. He felt the first dopamine rush of the day and caught himself smiling… He enjoyed the feeling.  _ "Keep this up and you'll feel like this all the time, Micha."  _ A small peck on the cheek made Michael smile even more.  _ "Oh, before you wash off, you gotta do your push ups. 30 every morning, remember?" _

'Oh, yeah.' Michael got in position, and  _ Jeremy  _ began counting. Michael managed to do a few, but he fell short again. 

_ "Hey, it's okay Micha, you'll get better." _

'Okay 'Remy.'

_ "Anyways, you should get yourself washed up, I'll wait out here for you." _

'Okay.' Michael went into the bathroom and quickly showered, trying not to take too long. When he got done, he slipped his clothes on and made his way back to his room. 'Alright I'm back… why are you looking at me that way?'

_ "You forgot your concealer and gel, Micha." Jeremy  _ sounded upset, disappointed even.

'But you… you love my hair like this… And you like my moles too… don't you?' Michael looked down at his feet, twiddling his thumbs lightly.

_ "Of course I do Micha, but others might not. Sacrifices gotta be made if you want more friends, I know it hurts to think people would leave you over this, but they would. Besides, two little things aren't going to hurt you in the long run." _

'Yeah… you're right 'Remy, you know what's best for me, after all.' 

_ "Good, now let's get you fixed up for the day." Jeremy  _ smiled as he led Michael to the bathroom, helping him cover his moles and gel his hair.  _ "Look at you, you already look as handsome as someone like Rich or Jake, or maybe even better." _

'I… uh… thanks 'Remy.' Michael felt his cheeks heat up as he got his shoes on, grabbed his bag, and hopped down the stairs. He and  _ Jeremy  _ decided walking to school would be nicer than sitting in the car with Michael's dad, so that's what they did.

***

While Michael was handling the day easy, Jeremy wasn't. He had been fading in and out of consciousness for a few hours since talking to his dad. He couldn't even get himself to change clothes. 

"Jeremy?" He pushed himself out of bed and saw his step-mom standing in the door, already in her medical uniform. 

"Yeah?" Jeremy slurred out, wiping his eyes as she flicked on the light switch.

"Have you slept at all?"

"Nuh-uh. Can't stop… Thinkin' bout…" Jeremy's head fell and he quickly forced himself back up. His drowsiness would be the death of him if he went to school.  _ He couldn't go, not until he knew how to save Michael. _

"Is it about Michael?"

"Mmhm…" Jeremy sighed out, trying to keep his eyes open but failing.

"Okay, how about you try and rest, I'll call you in sick for the day."

"I… know you work in the… Hospital… But you don't have t… to." Jeremy yawned, and she walked over, helping him to lay back down before pulling his cover up. "Mom I'm-" He stopped to yawn again, "-fine. Really."

"No you aren't. Now you get your sleep, okay?"

"I… okay…"

"I love you, sweetie." She lightly kissed the side of his head before heading to the door.

"Love you too, mom." She shut the light off and closed the door, leaving Jeremy alone in the dark with his thoughts. He knew he  _ needed _ to sleep, but Michael  _ needed _ him. Michael may not have known it, but he needed Jeremy now more than ever. 

Jeremy wanted to get out of bed and find some way to save Michael, but he needed to sleep too. The urge to sleep was also too strong to keep Jeremy from closing his eyes.

***

_ Jeremy woke up again, surprised he could see without his glasses. Weird. Either way, he pushed himself out of the bed and looked around. Nothing else seemed out of the ordinary. He flicked the light on in his room. Nothing weird… Nothing weird until he heard crying from… Where was that coming from? _

_ He made his way downstairs, not seeing anybody. _

_ "Hello?" He asked softly, still not seeing the person crying. _

_ "... G-Go away! You're n-not r-real you're n-not… N-N-Not… Not r-real…" Jeremy's eyes widened when he recognized the voice. It… It couldn't be… _

_ "Micha?"  _

_ "S-Sh-Shut u-up! You're not h-him you're n-not! You're not real, n-none of t-this is r-r-real!" Jeremy began to panic as he had no idea where Michael's voice was coming from.  _

_ "Micha please! Where are you?" He moved closer to the front door and the crying got louder… Was Michael outside? _

_ He opened the door and saw Michael on the ground, curled up in a ball. His forehead was covered in blood, which also seemed to be splattered on the concrete. _

_ "Micha holy shit, are… Are you okay? What happened?" Michael looked at Jeremy with crazed eyes, moving away from him. His movements were animal like, and his eyes seemed to glow red. "Micha?" _

_ "G-Get a-away f-f-from m-me! You're n-not r-real, you're not real! If I h-have to beat you out I w-w-will!" Jeremy watched in absolute horror as Michael slammed his already bloodied forehead against the concrete.  _

_ "Michael stop it, it's really me!" Jeremy had to drag Michael away from the concrete, holding him close. "Please… it's really me… I'm real… I promise…"  _

_ "T-Then why didn't you s-save m-me?" Jeremy pushed Michael off of him slightly, staring at his red eyes in fear. "W-Why d-did you l-let me g-get this bad if y-you're really J-Jeremy… why didn't y-you s-sav-save me? Why?" _

_ "Micha I'm trying… I don't know what to do! I don't know how to save you! I'm sorry… " Jeremy wrapped his arms around Michael again, and was very confused when it felt as though he was holding a large thing of slime, until he looked at Michael and realized he was… was he melting? How!? What was happening? "Micha? Micha what's-" _

_ "You f-failed me, 'Remy. How could y-you? How could y-you let this happen?" Michael's voice began echoing in Jeremy's ears. He curled into a ball and covered them. _

_ "I'm sorry!" _

_ "W-Why didn't you save me? W-Why d-didn't you save me?" _

_ "I-I'm trying to, Micha! I don't know how!" _

_ "I thought you loved me." _

Jeremy sat up in a cold sweat, heart practically pounding out of his chest. He was shaking as he looked at his bedside table. It was blurry. Good, he was awake. Which meant… he'd been dreaming. 

"Oh thank fuck… " He whispered, realizing he was crying and wiping his eyes, before grabbing his glasses and blinking to get adjusted. He was just glad Michael wasn't actually outside his house slamming his head against the concrete… At least he hoped not. 

He forced himself to go check the driveway, and he was relieved to see he was right. He closed the door and sighed, he had  _ no  _ intentions of going back to sleep after… That happened. 

"Guess it's back to spending all night researching SQUIPs again." He muttered as he made his way upstairs. If this was how one night went, he feared trying to sleep for any other nights.

***

Michael's day went great for the second time in a row! This was new, and he was enjoying it. He didn't even have to think about what to say to others, it was amazing!! There were a few times he slipped up but it wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed.

_ "See, things are turning out well for you. You're already in good with your popular peers, and Jenna has formed a good friendship with you. Keep this up and eventually you two can be together." Jeremy  _ was walking next to Michael as they left the school, hands in his pockets as he led the taller male out of the building. 

'But I'm with you, aren't I?'

_ "Think of it like a polyamorous relationship. If that makes sense. It's all consented after all." _

'Oh… okay that makes sense.' Michael let a small side smile slip onto his face as he began the long walk home.

***

Jeremy sighed as he looked at the time, school just got out a few minutes ago and he'd missed everything. 

"Perfect." He grumbled, wiping his eyes violently and standing up. He needed fresh air. He made his way to the window by his bed and opened it up, taking in the air… That was until he saw… "Micha?" 

He moved further into the window, so his head was fully outside, and watched as Michael walked right by his house, a smile on his face while he acted like nothing was wrong.

It broke Jeremy's heart. Where most people would be bitter, Jeremy was just sad. He wanted so badly to save Michael, to hold him close and tell him he's sorry for letting him take the SQUIP. But he couldn't even do that.  _ He couldn't even do that.  _

When Michael was eventually past the house, Jeremy slammed the window shut and sat back down at his desk. He had to find a way to save Michael, he had to. He had no  _ choice _ at this point. He had no choice since day one. He had to save Michael before he lost him forever, before Michael was  _ lost _ forever.

Jeremy turned his laptop on and began looking for whatever he could on SQUIPs. As expected, he found  _ nothing _ . Nothing ever came up. 

"This is gonna be impossible…" He whined into his arms. It was hopeless wasn't it? Jeremy knew it probably was, but he couldn't just give up on Michael. Even if this was a lost cause, he  _ had  _ to try.

***

Michael closed the front door and made his way to the kitchen, scouring for...  _ bingo _ .

'My left over pizza, and it's still good!' He pulled it out of the fridge before feeling a small shock. 

_ "I dunno if you should eat that, Micha."  _ Michael turned to look at the brunette staring back at him, placing the pizza on the table before questioning him.  _ "It's just… I know you're insecure about your weight, maybe we should lay off of food for a few days? Just a small Fast, I promise. You can still drink water, though."  _ Michael was actually shocked by what he was hearing. 

'But this means you don't get your daily dose of churros, and you love churros. Also isn't it… bad to not eat for that long?' 

_ "I'm not gonna make you do anything that could hurt you, Micha. You trust me, right?" _

'Of course I trust you 'Remy, I just-' Michael stopped as he felt  _ Jeremy's  _ hand push down on the pressure point between his shoulder blades. His body tensed before relaxing slightly. 

_ "How 'bout we just go upstairs and get your homework done? That way you can rest up, make up for the energy you'll lose without food. Whaddya say?" _

'Sure…' Michael nodded meekly as he followed  _ Jeremy  _ up the stairs. He had to mentally reassure himself that this temporary Fast would be for the best. If  _ Jeremy  _ said it would help, it would help.

***

Night was approaching fast, and Jeremy still hadn't figured out  _ any  _ new info on the SQUIP. Jared and Alec had texted a few times, but there was still nothing that they could find either.

"Dammit, dammit,  _ dammit _ !" Jeremy threw his notebook to the ground and groaned loudly. "Stupid SQUIP just has to be black market shit! Just  _ has  _ to be!! I'm never gonna save Michael at this point." He removed his glasses and held the bridge of his nose, sighing. He should've expected this to be hard, why did he think it would be easy.

"Jeremy?" A knock at his door, he turned around to see his dad at the door for the third time. 

"Mm?"

"We just finished dinner, do you wanna come down and get some or…" 

"…" Jeremy looked from his dad to his research and sighed again. "Sure I guess, get my mind off things." He stood up, and immediately realized his legs were asleep. He sighed, shaking one at a time, while holding the desk, trying to get them to wake up.

Eventually he got the feeling back and followed his dad downstairs for dinner.

"Did… Did you seriously just order pizza and make some chili fries?" Jeremy deadpanned, picking up one of the fries and taking a small bite.

"We figured since you were stressed we'd get you something you liked for dinner." His mom smiled as she sat down next to his dad. 

"Oh… Thanks." Jeremy tried to muster a smile, but he was so exhausted he couldn't even do that. 

He ate slowly, not talking at all. His eyelids were heavy and he was slouched over his plate. Everything was getting blurry until… u… until… 

***

"-eremy? Jeremy?" Jeremy's eyes twitched open and he squinted at the light coming from the ceiling fan. He felt something cold on his head, assuming it to be a cold rag.  _ He didn't even have a fever, though. _ "Paul, he's awake."

"Oh thank God." Jeremy's dad responded with relief as he came over and pulled up the pillow behind the brunette's back. 

"Nngh… What the hell… Happened?" Jeremy mumbled out, ignoring the small headache that seemed to pound more with everything he said.

"You passed out while eating dinner, we laid you down on the couch because you looked exhausted." His stepmom explained.

"I  _ am  _ exhausted."

"Then you should probably get some sleep, Private."

"But I  _ can't _ sleep!" Jeremy yelled, quickly grabbing at his pounding head and regretting the decision. "I… I  _ tried _ to sleep, but I had this awful nightmare and every time I close my eyes I see Michael covered in his own blood from beating his head on the concrete outside and I… I just don't want to see that…" Jeremy began crying before he pulled his legs up and curled into a ball. "I j-just don't wanna lose him…"

"Do… do you wanna tell us what's goin' on with him?" His dad's voice was softer than normal, and Jeremy sighed.

"Okay… now this is going to sound insane but…"

Over the next hour, Jeremy explained the entire situation to his parents, even bringing up that he'd  _ dealt  _ with SQUIPs before. He was practically  _ sobbing  _ at the end of it. 

"I-I know I should've t-told you about E-Ev b-but I didn't… I didn't wanna be s-seen as crazy…" Jeremy wiped his eyes and hugged himself. "I'm sorry…"

"Private this… This isn't  _ your  _ fault, not by any means. You're going through a lot and I can absolutely see why you didn't tell us this sooner. It does sound  _ insane _ , but if it was I… Doubt you'd be this worked up." 

"Your father's right, and we'll do whatever we can to help you save Michael from the same fate that… your brother went through…" Jeremy could see the pain in his stepmom's eyes just thinking about what happened. She did just learn that her son was in a mental hospital after all. And from her stepson, no less.

"T-Thank you…" Jeremy sniffed again, yawning slightly. "I… I think I can… sleep now…" He yawned again, slowly making his way down the couch so he could sleep easier.

"You're not gonna move from the couch?" His dad asked, and Jeremy shook his head as he curled into a ball. "Okay."

"Jeremy, are you still wearing your binder?" Another head shake. "Alright, you get your sleep then sweetie. Night, love you." He felt a small kiss on the side of his head and smiled.

"Night… Love you too, mom." Once she was out of the living room, Jeremy felt his dad's hand on his shoulder. 

"I promise you Private, we're gonna get through this. Okay?"

"M… Mhm…"

"Now you get some rest okay?"

"Okay."

"Night, love ya."

"I-I love you too, dad."

***

Things continued like this for days, and those days soon became  _ weeks _ . Jeremy spent countless hours, with the help of his parents, Jared, and Alec, trying to figure out a way to save Michael. On the other hand, Michael spent his days obediently following the SQUIP's orders, manipulated into thinking he was listening to Jeremy. 

One was deprived of sleep, the other was being deprived of his humanity.

That was until the day Jeremy realized he could probably talk to Michael. He'd overheard Rich talking to Michael and Chloe about a Halloween party. And a Rich Dillinger party meant beer. And Jeremy was smart enough to remember that beer screwed with the SQUIP for a few hours.

_ He just hoped Michael would drink some. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guess Jeremy and Michael are suffering. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes the Halloween party, what could go wrong? Literally everything, that's what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW/TW" This chapter has underage drinking, Brooke assaulting Michael, and Michael almost going into a really bad mental breakdown. Also I'm sorry it took so long to post these last few chapters, I'm trying to make sure as many chapters are done in advance after I had a small burnout from posting, but we're back.

Michael looked up at Rich's house(more like mansion), adjusting the hat to his detective costume and opening the door. Inside was the wildest party he'd ever seen. People were yelling, throwing beer bottles and chairs, and all around just being  _ chaotic _ .

_ "Relax Micha, remember, we need to find Chloe."  _ Michael nodded, looking around for the shy brunette. She had to be here somewhere, surely, her car was outside. 

"Michael!!" He turned to see Chloe bouncing over to him, glass of beer in hand. "I didn't think you were showing up, did you see my messages?"

_ "You were so busy getting ready you forgot to check your phone." _

"I couldn't check my phone, I was gettin' ready, ya know?"

"That makes sense. Anyways whaddya think of my costume? I know it's silly that a 17 year old girl likes a show for little girls but… I couldn't help myself." She showed off the entire costume, from the soft yellow colored wings to the pink streaks in her hair, as well as the lil horse ears. 

"It looks really nice. Did you uh… Did you make it yourself?"

"Mostly, except for the streaks. Brooke said it was dumb… But I think it's adorable, ya know?"

"Mhm." Michael was kind of surprised  _ Jeremy  _ hadn't been intervening, but he was also kind of okay with it. 

_ "You're doin' really good, Micha, why would I need to intervene?" _

"Anyways, I'm gonna go grab some drinks, you want anything?" Chloe asked sweetly, and Michael just shrugged. He'd never had anything to drink before, the only time he's even been near alcohol was when Jeremy was drunk once or twice. He was always really giggly and flirty when drunk, and Michael had no idea if he'd be that way or if he'd be a different 'type of drunk.'

He didn't really know what else to do, so he sat down on the couch and kicked his legs lightly, watching his new friends party it up like it was the end of the world.

That was until Brooke came over and leaned on the back of the couch.

"H-Hey Brooke." Michael swallowed the lump in his throat as he made eye contact with the blonde. She was drunk. She was also terrifying.

"Chloe wanted me to finds you. She's gots a… Gots a gift for you." Brooke slurred out, and Michael looked at  _ Jeremy _ for advice on what to do.

_ "Follow her." _

"O...Okay." Michael stood up and followed Brooke from the couch to the stairs, and eventually to an upstairs bedroom. It was fairly small, a bed made for one, and the bed looked as though nobody had fixed it in years.  _ What room was this? _ "W… Where is Chloe?"

"You're so gullible, aren't ya?" Brooke closed the door before wrapping her way around Michael. He pulled away, hugging himself. "Chloe isn't coming. It's just yous and me now, cutie." Brooke grabbed Michael's arm and basically spun him around so he landed on the bed. He shook his head lightly before looking back at her. He was shaking now. "Aw, what's the matter, you never have a make out sesh before, Mikey?" 

"C-Can you not c-call me that? P-Plea-" Brooke forced a bottle into his mouth, and whatever was in it tasted awful. "W-What… What was that?"

"I dunno but it's got me drunker than anyone else downstairs. Now then, where was I? Oh yeah,  _ makin' out with you."  _ She forced herself on top of Michael, and he tried pushing her off but was unable to free his arms. "Don't resist a good make out sesh, ya lil cutie." She was inches away from his face before she actually started kissing him. He hated every second of it, but he couldn't pull away because of how she was on him.

He felt something push at his lips and had no idea  _ what  _ it was but knew Brooke wanted more than just to kiss him.  _ He had to get her off. He needed to breathe, he wanted to be alone. _

''Remy? 'Remy help me please!' Michael was tearing up as Brooke pulled away and positioned her head a little under his. She began nibbling at his neck and at some points she  _ bit _ him. 'Jeremy where are you?'

_ "Micha I am afraid I'm having trouble w1th my f0rm. 1 n33d to shut 0ff b3f0r3 1 g3t w0rs3."  _ Michael heard  _ Jeremy's  _ voice and hated how distorted it sounded.

"B-Brooke I r-really, re-really need to g-go. Can y-you p-p-please get o-off of-" Before Michael could finish, he heard a rather loud knock at the door.

"Yes!?" Brooke rolled her eyes, pushing herself off of Michael enough that he could breathe. 

"Brooke!? What are you doing in my mom's room!?" It was Rich. Michael felt his heart  _ stop  _ in fear. "Get the hell out of there or I'm coming in!"

"Aw, is Richie mad that I'm having sex in the room he said I couldn't?"

"What!?" Rich opened the door, rage on his face as he saw Michael and Brooke on the bed. 

"Michael!?" Chloe was at the door, eyes shining as if she was going to cry. "What are… what are you doing?"

"C-Chloe I can… I can explain I-"

"You better explain before I kick your ass." Rich practically growled, grabbing Michael by the collar of his undershirt and throwing him away from Brooke and against the wall.

"B-Brooke dragged me in here! I-I didn't- I didn't know it was your mom's r-room! I had n-no idea! She wanted to… To…" He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, he couldn't focus. "I… I need to go." He stood up as best he could and ran off. He hoped Rich and Chloe believed him. 

He ran down the stairs, stumbling slightly and seeing the bathroom. Someone just left, so he took his chance and ran in, closing and locking the door. He fell to the tile floor, holding his hair and crying. He felt sick to his stomach, he felt like human garbage, he felt like…

"Micha?" He looked up at the shower and couldn't believe what he saw.

"...'R-Remy…?"

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can only guess what next chapter is :)

**Author's Note:**

> Let's see how long it takes for you guys to get attached to this version of Michael.


End file.
